Sunday, November 16, 2008

US Christians make move to take Canada

BUFFALO, Ny., Nov. 16, 2008 - In a surprise move, the majority of the self identified "Conservative Christians" in the United States began a mass exodus to Canada today. Numbering about 23 million at last report, people coordinated through their Sunday services began a journey to Canada. At the time of this report, many had already crossed the border and were starting to cause a stir on the Canadian side. Crossing the border at open points far from typical crossings, they were simply walking in droves or driving in caravans.

One report filed by a local reporter near Niagara Falls quotes a Christian migrant saying "We are just trying to find a way to protect our faith and values". Most of the people asked would not say much more.

One very notable figure in this exodus is none other than Governor Sarah Palin, former candidate for the Vice President of the United States on the Republican ticket. When asked about her motivations, she commented at length for CNN. "Me and the family are just thrilled to be blazing new trails for our Lord and Savior," said Palin. "I would have loved to help save the United States, but it's just clear that that is not going to happen. It was pretty hard for me to keep the cat in the bag, but when Pat Robertson asked me to endorse and participate in his Mission Canada I couldn't resist." Pat Robertson and his organization were unavailable for comment at the time of this release. When asked for details about "Mission Canada", Governor Palin was sparse on details, "I don't think I know all the parts. At leats [sic], I haven't been told if I do. I know it will take some of those poor people in Texas a long time to join us up here in the new promise land. And I know that the Catholics and Mormons aren't welcome."

Simon Coakeley, Executive Director of the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada, was reached for comment in his home just outside Ottawa. "I have no idea what makes these people feel they can just walk into this country, but I'm afraid they're going to find it's not that simple. We welcome people of all faiths, races and creeds, but there is a right way and a wrong way to go about joining the great Canadian family" said Director Coakeley.

It is widely being commented in various news channels that the loss of Senator McCain and Governor Palin in the 2008 Presidential campaign is to blame for the migration. One sound bite that is being circulated is a comment by Franklin Graham, son of Pastor Billy Graham. In the audio only clip, Franklin Graham is asked by a reporter what he thinks about the then falling numbers for McCain's presidential bid and he responds "These United States won't know what happened when all the good Christians they are slighting simply stop participating in the nation all together." The comment is now thought to be foreshadowing this exodus. Governor Palin also had a comment about the overall motives, "I sure did learn a lot in the recent campaign. I was shocked when I found out the the constitution really didn't say anything about Christianity at all and that all the references to God on US money and in pledges was [sic] put there in the 1950s. So that made it much easier for me to think about leaving to try again."

According to data collected in July 2007, the entire population of Canada is 33,390,141 persons. The vast majority of those concentrated in areas along the Canada's border with the United States. With the current known number of Christians leaving the United States in this "mission", it will be very interesting to see how it all plays out.

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